we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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