ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
