Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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