i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
