can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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