So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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