I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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