Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.