Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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(212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5

Replies (8) Good night (804) Bad night (1422)
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(949): View more from California

Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s

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(949): Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s http://tfl.nu/wt0n

Replies (28) Good night (4991) Bad night (626)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.

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(864): We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us. http://tfl.nu/xmtc

Replies (20) Good night (988) Bad night (6068)
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(567): View more from Ohio

i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style

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(567): i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style http://tfl.nu/1r2g

Replies (24) Good night (1656) Bad night (4817)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore

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(781): I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore http://tfl.nu/jp8t

Replies (19) Good night (861) Bad night (4068)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

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(412): Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends.. http://tfl.nu/z85j

Replies (9) Good night (5095) Bad night (1363)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.

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(864): the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation. http://tfl.nu/dzey

Replies (5) Good night (2329) Bad night (594)
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(813): View more from Florida

Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.

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(813): Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom. http://tfl.nu/y5hs

Replies (7) Good night (2159) Bad night (646)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.

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(847): He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris. http://tfl.nu/t2sy

Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (862)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.

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(978): If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room. http://tfl.nu/2jpn

Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (612)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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(412): Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently. http://tfl.nu/q1xe

Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (770)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

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(513): She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste' http://tfl.nu/jrl8

Replies (11) Good night (1886) Bad night (494)
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(619): View more from California

there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper

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(619): there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper http://tfl.nu/29cl

Replies (25) Good night (639) Bad night (794)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Aw.

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(617): Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat. (1-617): Aw. http://tfl.nu/wvoj

Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (706)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.

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(601): Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams. http://tfl.nu/r18a

Replies (8) Good night (242) Bad night (558)

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