Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity

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  (586): Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity http://tfl.nu/negt
  Replies (1) Good night (1368) Bad night (535)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.

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  (251): My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me. http://tfl.nu/ksmg
  Replies (8) Good night (547) Bad night (2778)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?

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  (407): Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ? http://tfl.nu/brtl
  Replies (10) Good night (4028) Bad night (1227)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career

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  (416): Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career http://tfl.nu/ywum
  Replies (5) Good night (2752) Bad night (1102)
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.

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  (916): Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/w1gl
  Replies (17) Good night (1019) Bad night (5283)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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  (585): Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there http://tfl.nu/9lof
  Replies (12) Good night (5143) Bad night (1131)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.

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  (785): Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer. http://tfl.nu/7lxv
  Replies (15) Good night (5743) Bad night (1179)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

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  (402): I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong. http://tfl.nu/dijt
  Replies (19) Good night (2709) Bad night (777)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.

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  (+44): There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it. http://tfl.nu/t5pt
  Replies (7) Good night (3211) Bad night (755)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.

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  (715): I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names. http://tfl.nu/wmoo
  Replies (11) Good night (1830) Bad night (636)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?

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  (561): Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose? http://tfl.nu/uaga
  Replies (10) Good night (541) Bad night (830)
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  (650): View more from California

  Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse

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  (650): Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse http://tfl.nu/az1s
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (409)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.

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  (617): The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie. http://tfl.nu/3kb9
  Replies (16) Good night (1273) Bad night (495)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.

  (206): View more from Washington

  so that's what that room is for...

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  (253): she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows. (206): so that's what that room is for... http://tfl.nu/5gyi
  Replies (5) Good night (994) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell

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  (306): I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell http://tfl.nu/ue80
  Replies (8) Good night (659) Bad night (232)

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