Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

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(402): View more from Nebraska

birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.

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(716): View more from New York

fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

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(513): View more from Ohio

Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.

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(812): View more from Indiana

After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito

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(949): View more from California

I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid

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(868): View more from Trinidad and Tobago-Carib

Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...

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