Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.