That's intense
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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