do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
