Little spoons don't ask big questions
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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