i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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