ADVERTISEMENT

• (352): View more from Florida

  Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish

  Fav 26 3135 1363

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...

  Fav 9 872 3999

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me

  Fav 20 1527 4807

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.

  Fav 7 4254 1403

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (516): View more from New York

  you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.

  Fav 8 3613 1246

  share tweet
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer

  Fav 6 2014 1003

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.

  Fav 6 884 2253

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka

  Fav 8 2135 1074

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage

  Fav 5 1464 843

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

  (210): View more from Texas

  my parents really loved me back then.

  Fav 9 1651 764

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!

  Fav 12 2013 1001

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.

  Fav 0 969 636

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  You get home okay?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  I'm pantless and in bed

  (585): View more from New York

  That doesn't mean you're at home.

  Fav 2 1494 618

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.

  Fav 0 212 87

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby

  Fav 0 64 93

  share tweet
  

Randomize