I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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