Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.