in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
