it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
