So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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