she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
