tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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