Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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