good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
