Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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