yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
