And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
