Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
