I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.