Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
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i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
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We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?