i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.