I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress