I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
