Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
