i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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