Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
