Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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