Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
COCAINE IS GR8
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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