hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
