Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
