Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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