why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
