i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
