i will never coherently bang her
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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