It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
