I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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