i'm lost and i look like a hooker
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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