Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
