Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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