We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
