yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
