accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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