I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
