Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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