please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
