Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
