mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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