He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
