I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
