i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he fucked my hip out of place.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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