A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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