Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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