boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
