glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
