im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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