My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize