and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
