he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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