it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
