Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
