Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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