he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
